Here’s the tame version. And here’s the real nsfw Kendra version:
“A few weeks ago, a friend in publishing (that’s right – I have connections) told me I would love a wonderful new author she’s been working with. Being the die-hard cynic that I am, I told her where to shove her opinion, and set off to make my own judgments about the book – It’s Only the Himalayas: And Other Tales of Miscalculation from an Overconfident Backpacker.
“My thought after the first few pages went something along the lines of … ”
Keep reading… I promise you’ll like it.
Being Tori 
Don’t be afraid. I won’t smite you. Probably.