“A CGI masterpiece.”
—Tori Elliott

Other, less sarcastic, thoughts:

• Margot Robbie was wonderful in her role as Jane, the Damsel in Distress who refuses to act like a Damsel in Distress.
• I’m not sure when Samuel L. Jackson became a comic relief actor, but I’m glad he was cast in this movie as such. The film’s few laugh out loud moments were at the hands of his George Washington Williams.
• Christoph Waltz should only play villains from now on. He’s just so great at portraying soft-spoken, charming, heinous reprobates.
• Any script that calls for Alexander Skarsgård to remove his shirt is a-okay by me.

I’m glad this reboot focussed more on Tarzan’s return to the jungle rather than rehashing his origin story for the umpteenth time (though the story does reflect on his upbringing through several CGI-heavy flashbacks). And I did ultimately enjoy myself as Mr. Skarsgård ran through the jungle and fought off all manner of man and (CGI) beast. But, I’m fairly certain that somewhere in the annals of literature, radio, film, television and stage history for this character, there lies much better fodder than the “bad-guy-enslaves-African-natives-and-steals-hero’s-wife-to-incite-hero’s-rage-and-ensure-hero’s-capture-and-ultimate-escape” plot for The Legend of Tarzan.