American Ultra

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I’m a little concerned for my taste in movies. Or maybe my expectations were so low that this movie literally could not have been any worse than I thought it would be, therefore making it appear better than it actually is. I mean, it wasn’t amazing (obviously), but I didn’t hate it. In fact, it was about 3.78 times better than I’d expected, so there’s that. It’s bloody, and a bit outrageous, but ultimately not a terrible way to spend a few hours.

Fantastic Four

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More like Catastrophic Quatre, amiright?!

I was ignoring the reviews because, you know, Miles Teller. I thought: How bad can it be? Especially since Jamie Bell and Kate Mara and that new Michael Jordan are in it, too. But man, it’s bad. It’s so bad. It’s not even so bad it’s good. It’s just bad.